Embracing Darkness

I’ve always been fascinated by things that are considered creepy or gross. While most little girls were reading their Sweet Valley High books, I was off on the Gothic moors reading ghost stories and tales of monsters. My mom even grew concerned that I would lock myself in my room for hours at a time. It wasn’t until years later that I stopped caring what others thought of me and finally gave in to the darkness.

I remember thinking that romance novels were boring compared to a good horror novel. Who wanted to read about relationship drama when you could lose yourself in books about mysterious gothic settings, brooding lords, and suspense? Misty moors? YES. Creepy castles? Uh huh. Spooky forests? SIGN ME UP. Still, I hid that part of myself. I was afraid that if others knew the music I liked and genres I enjoyed reading, they would reject me.

It wasn’t until the “Goth” trend became popular that I realized other people liked the things I enjoyed. Suddenly, enjoying the dark side of things and wearing all black was considered cool. Too bad I was already playing the preppy card and serving as a coach on the cheerleading squad. While I did enjoy wearing jeans and bang clips, I never totally submerged myself in that world. The darkness was always lurking, just waiting.

Life changed for me when I had a stroke. I had to quit my job and move away. My entire world was turned upside down. When I got to my new city, I realized I had nothing to lose. None of my “friends” and co-workers were constantly around. I might as well embrace the weird girl inside me.

Living your life how YOU want to live is freeing. I’ve never been one to care what others thought of me, but embracing my weird ass made me feel alive. Stop living life hiding who you are. Dig into that hole of horror movies and girly monster shirts. Scour the pages of Gothic novels and black lace dresses. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to LOVE what you love!